Hello dear ones,
I’ve been gone a lot this summer. Not physically, I’ve almost entirely been in New Orleans, but emotionally, spiritually, I’ve been gone from this space. I’ve still been working with my coaching clients every week, but largely I’ve been absent from showing up for this weekly newsletter.
For nearly three years, I diligently sent out this newsletter weekly. I wrote blog posts and rounded up links and wrote heartfelt missives every week. I was committed to this space in a deep and loving way. But for the past few months, my energy has been elsewhere.
I’ve been doing some really deep work, y’all. Dredging up old wounds, cutting off toxic relationships, tending to my deepest pains. Learning to let go of perfection. To take a different tone. To love myself with relentless tenderness.
There have been a lot of tears. Like, so many tears. Copious and free-flowing. There’s been a lot of laying belly-down in the grass and just letting the earth hold me. There’ve been a number of late night phone calls to friends when I just.can’t.stop.crying.
Part of what’s been happening is tending to the past, the unacknowledged, the denied, the “it-wasn’t-that-bad” parts of myself. Looking at it all and saying, yes, this happened, and yes, it fucked me up. Now what?
I’m sharing all of this not as a bid for care--you don’t need to email me and ask if I’m okay--but as an exercise in radical transparency. (For the record, I am being held in such profound ways by a robust community of friends and lovers and loved ones. And my 12-step people. And my therapist. And the old mama oak trees and the moon. I am well taken care of, trust me.)
And part of what’s been happening is a re-envisioning of what I’m doing in the world, of what makes my life meaningful, of who I am at a core level. Looking at myself and saying, yes, I’m worthy of a glorious life, and no, it probably doesn’t look like anything I’ve done before, and yes, it’s time to GO GET THAT SHIT.
So much of what I do in terms of business is closely adjacent to who I am, so it’s no surprise, I guess, that with all this shifting inside ME, things are also shifting in MY WORK.
I’ll be sharing more in the coming weeks about what these shifts will look like on a practical level, but for now I wanted to simply say hi, I’m still here. I am growing and it’s painful and beautiful all at once.
I’m inspired more than ever to keep showing up for myself and for us. I’ve been writing like mad, words flowing out unprompted at all hours of day and night. Big, core-shaking thoughts, and I can’t wait to share them all with you.
I so appreciate that you’re here with me on this path towards transforming ourselves and transforming the world. More big changes are on the way.
Much love,
Bear
P.S. This seems like a good time to say, if that’s not what you’re here for, there are no hard feelings if it’s time for you to opt out. That unsubscribe button is there for a reason.